Love & Friendship

 My Epiphanies on Love and Friendship

"Love is not a feeling... Love is the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth."  M. Scott Peck, "The Road Less Travelled"

"The experience of falling in love is not love, Rather it is a sex-linked erotic experience..."  The myth of romantic love is a dreadful lie.... millions of people waste vast amounts of energy desperately and futilely attempting to make the reality of their lives conform to the unreality of the myth."  M. Scott Peck from the 'Road Less Traveled' 

The true lover seeks the good of his beloved which requires especially the liberation of the beloved from the lover.", Anthony de Mello, "The Way to Love" 

"Love is not necessarily related to self-denial...Being emptied of self-seeking desires is not the same as doing without... Love does not demand a high sacrifice" Les Parrot, "You are Stronger than you Think"

"Accept that relationships are to make you conscious not happy." Eckhart Tolle, "The Power of Now"  

Find a true friend (ideally a "conscious being").  A good litmus test for this comes from Les Parrot's book, "You are Stronger Thank You Think" where he states,  "The true indicator of a deep and powerful bond is found when spiritual encouragement fills the space between us.... Nothing weakens us more than our secrets.... When we confess our dark side to another we find healing." 

"Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity"  Simone Weil.  Learn and practice listening and responding well. Imago Relationship techniques are excellent.

"There is no greater gift we can give another person than allowing them to be who they are, rather than what we might want them to be."  Headspace 

"Seek first to understand"  H.J. Coble

Never say these 5 words


Be aware of micro-messages - especially micro-inequities 

Do NOT follow the "Golden Rule" which says, "Do to others as you would have them do to you" - Because others might not share one's own interests and tastes.  A.C. Grayling, "The God Argument" 

For me, a meaningful relationship starts with friendship or as they say in Italian, "l'amicizia è la cosa più importante".  Friendship is the thing that is most important.

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